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Have a hard time remembering jokes? Me too. Here are some short ones that you can even write (right???) on the palm of your hand (just in case)...



FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.

NEWS FLASH!!! Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday.

A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other.

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names.

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

In Memoriam
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise , the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey ", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food

When you work here,
you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred".

Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate.
Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.

Salud!

Just one question.....Are you going to right that on your WRITE hand or your LEFT hand? You've just been SPELLCHECKED!

I did that on purpose just to see if you'd notice...

Channeling Henny Youngman, eh?

Originally Posted by BajaGringo

I did that on purpose just to see if you'd notice...

I ALWAYS notice typos & misspelled English....Espanol less often, but occasionally! And NO, I don't want to be the official site spell-checker!

Think the left was used, just in case